Personal Finance: Complacency is the destructive force
One would assume that after facing a snowballed debt-crisis where the core reason of this outcome was the initial complacency of the debtor, that they would actually take heed once they are in the process of liaising with creditors to amicably derive at a solution for each default account.
Yet, I never cease to be amazed that once one or two accounts are restructured and/or consolidated where they secured their new desired monthly payment, that they would diligently continue the process until all of their accounts are sorted out, however they don’t!
In fact the scary part is during this process, when they were afforded some lee-time whilst the creditor was reviewing their case and request where they did not have to make the current month’s payment but await the outcome; they opted to spend that money on unnecessary arbitrary activities.
Key examples of this are ‘Oh my wife doesn’t know my situation and wanted to go back to our home country for her parents wedding anniversary!’ Or; ‘Oh my wife has not seen her family for one year so she had to buy gifts for her family as it would not look good if she went empty-handed’!
When will you comprehend that this form of undisciplined action is what got you into the debt-crisis situation in the first place?
When will you realise that an integral part of debt recovery is being upfront and honest with spouses or family you are responsible for?
When will you realise that hiding their situation will not serve you or your ability to recover from this debt-crisis?
When will you learn that spending money on that unnecessary flight ticket, gifts and other expenses could have been allocated to their next few payments of your new payment plan, which would reduce your debt?
When will you understand that the process of debt-recovery is a huge sacrifice which in turn means you must learn to sacrifice and compromise the luxuries you are still affording yourself when you sincerely are not in the position to spend any extra money for the next few years?
You should learn that if you commit to meeting your newly restructured commitments then:
There is no compromise;
There is no more ignoring of creditor calls;
There is no skipping payments of the new payment plan;
There is no missing creditor appointments to finalise the documentation of your newly restructured liability’s;
There are no more excuses;
The creditor does not need to persue you to complete the process, it then becomes your job to diligently follow-up with the creditor on the finalisation of the process;
You cannot make promises and don’t keep them;
It is your job to start rebuilding your credibility and integrity, else you have achieved zero;
Your spouse or family or whomever’s life your situation affects must be confronted and the truth revealed, where it is absolutely key for you secure their support and that the utmost transparency exists;
You cannot continue living in fear simply because you have not been honest with the people who love you and care about you;
There is no 2nd chance if you mess this one up because trust must be earned, not just given;
You clearly show disrespect to all parties concerned, including yourself;
It is a sad day when debtors initially commit to following all procedures simply because they are desperate, but as soon as they get some relief, they back out, resort to ‘old tricks’ of ignoring their required attention requested by the creditor and this because they got some form of relief for an interim period.
Your situation won’t change if you don’t go the full hog as there are no short-cuts no matter how you try to justify yourself and your situation.
Nothing that enjoys success is done in half-measures, you either commit or you don’t persue this form of action and then suffer the consequences, which will be self-inflicted. So blame yourself, not the next person and not co-operating leaves a bad taste in your creditor’s mouth – next time, oh yes, there won’t be any next time unfortunately, because people don’t forget they will always remember that bad side of you.
When you are afforded an opportunity to set the record straight then do the right thing, don’t imagine in your mind that you can now ‘take a break’!
There are no breaks only until this journey is concluded, which is in the next few years. Key is then stop blaming anyone else; this is your own fault!
We don’t achieve by being lackadaisical, we achieve through diligence, commitment, integrity and respecting those who lend us a helping hand, to continue winning their favour to regain our self-respect.
However, we all make choices and nobody is going to lose sleep over your repeated negligence, because they don’t have to face the consequences, you do! It’s your baby, your responsibility and so when it goes wrong you only have yourself to blame, nobody else.
Debtors, when you ask someone to help you, then do the time, be co-operative and respectful and play the game of undue support and co-operation, as nobody owes you a life, it is your job to take your life back so never forget this.
[Note 1: Theda Muller is a UAE-based author of two books: Embrace Financial Freedom Volume One: 10 Proven Ways To Release Debt And Emotional Fears In Today’s Economy, and Volume Two: Releasing Fear And Bouncing Back From A Debt Crisis.]
[Note 2: The views expressed are the author’s own and do not reflect in any way, the views of Emirates 24|7. Readers are advised to carry out their own due diligence before taking any decision.]
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