Sports odds

Recession-proof Putter

As expected Tiger Woods returned to action this week slightly rusty, managing only a birdie on his opening hole at the WGC Accenture Match Play Championship in Arizon.

The world No1 boasted to caddie Stevie Williams it "feels like we haven't been gone," and added, "it was business as usual". Since Tiger last played, the business world has been in freefall and we are experiencing a global recession – he never did work in the same reality as the rest of us.

Safe as Houses

The former Honda F1 team revealed this week it will be testing cars in Spain in the run up to next month's Australian Grand Prix. The news strengthens claims the team have found a new owner. A source close to the deal likened it to "being in the final stages of buying a house when contracts are agreed, signed and with the lawyers".

So Honda are on track for a place on the grid come March 29, as long as, that is, the new owners don't need a mortage – the UK suffered a 43.2 per cent drop in approvals last month.

Bendting the Truth

"I'm happy to have contributed in winning the penalty. As long as I know I gave my contribution I can leave here with my head held high," sang Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner after his side's 1-0 win against Roma on Tuesday. Bendtner's head was obviously held so high it was in the clouds as anyone who watched the match at the Emirates knows it was Robin van Persie who dribbled into the box, got fouled and slotted home the penalty.

Perilous Predictions

World No4 Andy Murray went out on a limb this week when fielding questions from journalists at the ongoing Dubai Tennis Championships. Having been put on the spot regarding the possible repayment of money to cash-stricken sponsors RBS, Murray was mid-sentence when a cry came from the back of the room. "Andy! Who's going to win the SPL?"

Murray, diplomatic as ever, responded: "I don't know. I'd guess Rangers or Celtic." Who would have guessed that, eh?

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