Five worst Bollywood remakes that left makers and audience cringing

Bollywood’s award winning script writer and lyricist, Javed Akhtar, once famous said that there are only seven stories that are repackaged and recycled in every film that hits the marquee.

When one half the scriptwriting team of ‘Sholay’ says such golden words, one must sit up and take notice.

Filmmaker Sajid Khan uttered those very words to Emirates 24|7 at the eve of the release of the debacle that was to be ‘Himmatwala’, adding: “By this philosophy, every movie we see today is a remake of something, so why single out my one movie as following some new remake trend that a few believe is emerging in Bollywood?”

Truth or not, his one-time valid question did lose credibility when his Ajay Devgn-Tamannaah Bhatia starrer tanked at the box office as one of the worse remakes of all times.

Audience and critics were unanimous in saying that some films are simply not worth a revisit, either for being too much of a spoof to ever demand a remake or commanding too many in a cult following that can be quite unforgiving.

With this in mind, Emirates 24|7 flashes back to the five worse films that were remade in Bollywood:

5. Himmatwala

In his media address in Dubai, director Sajid Khan boldly proclaimed: “I will guarantee ‘Himmatwala’ will make 100-crores (Rs 1 billion) or your money back.”

It seems like the joke’s on this one-time stand up comedian, whose directorial debacle is being called as one of the worst Bollywood remakes of all times.

Khan should at least be happy that the global audience of this Ajay Devgn-Tamannaah Bhatia starrer aren’t coming knocking on his door for the cash back on box office ticket receipts.

The action-comedy, which released last month, attempted to remake the cult 1985 film of the same name, starring Jeetendra and Sridevi, whose charisma and chemistry turned the classic into an overnight success story.

Khan’s version was called by many critics, as a “loud and crass spoof” that is packaged with “abysmal dialogue and cheap one-liners. It is so painful, that you need to be a ‘Himmatwala’ [Braveheart] to sit through the very end.”

The plot: Similar to its predecessor, the 2013 version sees a young man take on the evil village head for causing the death of his father, while romancing his daughter and dancing around pots and drums with feathered dusters in hand.

4. Victoria No 203

You can be excused, relieved even, if you missed the 2007 Anant Mahadevan-directed doozy that was produced by one-time leading man, Kamal Sadhanah, whose father Brij Sadhanah produced and directed the original.

‘Victoria No 203’ is a perfect example of how to take a super hit classic of the ’70s and turn it into a hatchet job that would have everyone in the audience cringe in pain for the first 20 minutes and finally, stage a walkout or lose the will to live.

The problem in its remake was the inability of its filmmakers to comprehend what really worked in the 1972 classic was the unique pairing, witty repartee and chemistry between Pran and the late Ashok Kumar.

Despite Om Puri and Anupam Kher being such talented powerhouses, the script and the shoddy direction did them no justice.

The plot: Durgadas has pulled off a diamond heist but loses his precious gems when one of his henchmen turns rogue. Meanwhile, a man is falsely accused in the crime and sentenced to life imprisonment. Om Puri and Anupam Kher play the two crooks who jump in to claim their share of the booty, while a merry band of men run around the screen helplessly, while the women simply simper and pout.

3. Umrao Jaan

The ever polite Farooq Shaikh was courteous enough to not criticise the 2006 remake of his film when he was in Dubai earlier this month, despite being drawn into a debate over the four-time National Award winning ‘Umrao Jaan’ being turned into a “poor man’s version of the Muzzafar Ali magic, especially with JP Dutta as director.”

He said: “Audiences change over time, so the star appeal needs to cater to the current crop of sentiments.”

If that argument stands true, then Dutta’s casting coup of bringing together Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan at the height of their romance, should have coerced the curious into giving this remake a chance.

But the 180-minute snoozefest turned into a laughing stock amidst purists and a benchmark of how a perfectly good story and acting pedigree can still fail to illicit enthusiasm if the direction and scripting is shoddy.

The plot: Based on the Urdu novel ‘Umrao Jaan Ada’ (1905), written by Mirza Hadi Ruswa, both films chronicle the tragic life of a famous Lucknow courtesan, who is fated to never find happiness.

2. Karzzzz

Chop off the original title from its remake and all you are left is with the extra ‘zzz’, which sufficiently sums up the state of affairs in most cinema halls when the Himmesh Reshamiya and Urmila Matondkar film released back in 2008.

Subhash Ghai’s 1980 classic, which saw a sweetly innocent Rishi Kapoor and a deliciously wicked Simi Gerewal sizzle on screen were overshadowed by Reshamiya’s weirdly nasal protestations of love and a lead actress that is best forgotten.

Matondkar was the only one who added grace and poise to this sinking ship.

The plot: A rich, impressionable man falls in love, only to be murdered by his wife for his millions. The man is reborn and avenges his wrongful death.

1. Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag

On the eve of the Dubai premiere of ‘Nautanki Sala’, a title which has been inspired from ‘Sholay’, Emirates 24|7 quizzed director Rohan Sippy why he never chose to remake the entire film itself, rather than simply lift an iconic dialogue as its name?

He simply said: “You can’t perfect perfection. My father, Ramesh Sippy, directed ‘Sholay’ so perfectly that I can’t be arrogant enough to even attempt such a faux pas. One filmmaker tried, and we have all seen the debacle that turned into.”

Needless to say, ‘Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag’ stands testament for being the one film voted as the worst Bollywood has ever produced in 100 years of cinema.

The rest, as they say, is history.

The plot: Seeing is believing. If you haven’t already, you know what to do.

Follow Emirates 24|7 on Google News.