'I cried in the dark so no one would think I was ungrateful': Mothers speak out about their postpartum struggle

Dubai: In 1986, one mother sat in the dark, tears pouring down her face, not knowing why. In 2010, an exhausted mother lay in bed, wondering if she would ever escape the fog and be able to find her way back. In 2024, a mother curled up, panicking on the bathroom floor, asking how she was supposed to manage it all. The postpartum period is one of the most challenging for new mothers – and has been for centuries. Greek physician Hippocrates first recorded descriptions of emotional difficulties and mood changes following childbirth, as early as 700 BC. Yet, in the modern era, up to 50% of women with postpartum depression (PPD) go undiagnosed, according to an October 2019 study published in the UK-based medical journal BMJ Open Quality. Struggling alone – a reality no one talks about Why does a new mother’s struggle seem invisible? For many, it’s because the postpartum journey is often traversed alone. Sana Karim said reality hit within a few days of delivering her son on March 1, 2026. The Indian homemaker, who previously worked as the marketing head for a luxury event space in Dubai, said she was seriously misled about the initial weeks after childbirth: “What everyone told me and what I was programmed to believe as the most amazing days of being a mother, were the ones I hated the most. Not because of my baby, but because I hated myself for not loving it enough. I felt anger toward my husband who slept through the nights, and even toward my family who told me every day what they thought I should do, now that I'm a mother. It was all too much for me.” She said she went through depressive episodes in the months that followed. “I sat in the dark, breastfeeding my baby, and in those moments when I thought I should be bonding, I was crying when no one saw me, so my family didn't think I was ungrateful. I know now that I should have talked about what I felt.” Sana Karim said: "I was crying when no one saw me, so my family didn't think I was ungrateful. I know now that I should have talked about what I felt.” Picture credit: Supplied Pakistani national Wajiha S. delivered her son in July 2016, but found it extremely difficult to bond with her child. She said: “I was doing everything I was ‘supposed’ to do... but emotionally, I felt completely disconnected. There was a void I couldn't explain. I loved him, but I couldn't feel that love the way I thought a mother should. I blamed myself… over time, I became more withdrawn, exhausted and lost.” She knew something was seriously wrong a few days after her family moved into a new apartment in Dubai. She said: “We had large windows in our new home, and I would sometimes look outside and think depressive thoughts. They became so intense but the scariest part was that I would then carry on with my day, as though nothing had happened.” For Amina Ehsan, a Dubai-based marketing manager, the initial few weeks after childbirth in November 2024, were about joy and recovery, so it didn’t prepare her for how her body and mental health changed over the next few months. She said: “I felt at a loss when my daughter was 20 months old. She was loving life but I was just not feeling my 100%. I hadn’t dropped the baby weight, work stress took over, and honestly, I spread myself too thin.” What initially felt like burnout, spiralled quickly. Ehsan said: “I noticed that if something fell off track, I would have a breakdown, which never used to happen before. Because things didn’t feel in control, [I would] panic and just hate myself for not being able to get it together. I’d find myself on the bathroom floor crying, and trying to find answers to why it was so hard to [manage] it all.” Culture and family impact While feeling alone can be debilitating for mothers, many cultures provide guardrails to make sure they have the support they need. A May 2026 study, published in the US-based social science journal Social Currents, found that customary practices, such as extended family care, mandated rest, and special diets, often function as protective supports that can enhance emotional and physical recovery. When they’re missing, the impact can be brutal. Egyptian national Asma S., a 65-year-old retired marketing manager, said she yearned for her family and siblings, who lived in Cairo, when she delivered her second daughter in Dubai, in 1986 – just a year after her first daughter was born. The fact that she was expected to manage everything on her own – from motherhood to personal recovery to household tasks – meant she felt the immense cultural pressure of being a perfect mother and wife. She remembers the crushing loneliness she felt in those early years, when she was struggling to manage two children under two years old, while still providing dinner and packed lunches for her husband, who would go early to work and return home late in the day. She said: “I remember putting my children to bed, and sitting in a dark room, and just crying for hours and hours – every day for months. It was so ti