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24 February 2024

Personal Finance: Why debtors give up hope too easily

Theda Muller

By Theda Muller

Rome was not built in one day, neither was your debt created in one or two days or weeks.
So how do you lose hope after one or two attempts of securing approval from creditors for a restructure or consolidation consideration once you face a negative response?
Just like in many facets of your life where you wish to advance or achieve, you simply do not throw in the towel when you tried and the door is shut in your face with no glimmer of hope.

Listen, there is always hope because many times in our lives we fail abysmally and then after trying to reach out to others for their support and being given the cold shoulder, we give up on ourself and our lives, why?
If there is one very important lesson I learn’t in my life then it is I depend on myself to salvage any situation I created for myself because nobody can get you out of it, only you can and that requires perseverance, persistence, courage and determination.
Let me share with you that anyone can achieve anything they set their hearts and mind on, even you because we all have inner power and strength we never knew existed, until it was the only thing we could rely on.
There is a very famous quote that reads: “You only know how strong you really are when strong is the only option you have to choose from.”
Getting back to you facing a debt crisis… If you face adversity once you submitted a consideration request, not forgetting to stipulate the amount you are able to afford that you need approved, inquire about the next person in charge and present your case, explaining your request in detail and if you get the same response, just continue to escalate to the next higher level and the next, until, you receive approval that enables you to afford the new payments.
Creditors need to understand that it is illogical for a debtor to be forced to accept a payment plan they cannot afford, because it is the reason they found themselves in a default situation in the first place.
Following this process is an indication that:
-        Your actions clearly indicate you followed protocol, i.e. the chain of command or hierarchy because you had no other choice.
-        Means you showed respect and ensure that the last senior executive you meet and who perhaps is the person who approves your request, is aware of your journey and the reason you ended up with him/her.
-        You’re on this journey of escalation, avoid fighting fire with fire, i.e. don’t become disrespectful and abrasive with the person who could or would not assist you. Simply thank them for their time and effort but diplomatically inform them of your intentions to escalate your request to a more senior level and ignore negative responses that your actions will be fruitless, because this is normally the response. It’s called ‘office politics’. You are not there to support or entertain this practice; you are there to resolve your own personal problems, nothing else. So don’t take the comments personally, simply move on towards your goals.
-        You are serious to achieve what you came there to do and once you achieve your goals, it starts rebuilding confidence and determination to succeed.
Let me encourage you today that everything is negotiable and can be amicably agreed upon if you show the right attitude.
Your creditor is human and may be facing the same personal problems so never assume someone will not have empathy and not be willing to support you, because you can transform a creditor into a sincere friend where some friendships today hold huge value.

You never know when you can reciprocate in their time of need and show your support as friendship is a 2-way street.

Hope is a very strong emotion and the essence of many who achieved where most times it is the only thing we possess to hold onto, it is that very thing that moves us from here to there when we remain persistent.

With your hope and persistence, learn to foster having substance too, keep your word, maintain your commitment to yourself first, then to your creditor and finally to those that matter and who contribute value to your life.

On this journey there is no room for giving up hope and throwing in the towel on your debt crisis because there is no other option if you wish to become debt-free, as there are sacrifices to be made.

When you cast your mind back on your life’s journey then you may recall the success of people you knew who were persistent in something specific, or their life and things they persued, like the salesman who kept calling you for weeks or months and finally you purchased the product he was selling, not because you needed it, but because of his persistence, professionalism and attitude when approaching you.

So you finally succumbed and felt the need to buy his product.

Or the person who regularly called your company for a job and each time he was refused but finally one day you employed him not only because he had the right qualifications or experience for an available opportunity, but because of his persistence.

“Persistence always wins”. In my mother tougue we say: “Aanhouer wen” means ‘he who persists, wins”
Sound familiar?
So one key lesson is when you are on this path of persistence, don’t apologise for trying to do the right thing for you by taking the right action and having the same right attitude because finally, nobody is going to do it for you, only you.
The lesson is never give up on yourself, your will to achieve or your dreams, own it!
[Note 1:  Theda Muller is a UAE-based author of two books: Embrace Financial Freedom Volume One: 10 Proven Ways To Release Debt And Emotional Fears In Today’s Economy, and Volume Two: Releasing Fear And Bouncing Back From A Debt Crisis.

She also conducts webinars and workshops on debt recovery.]

[Note 2: The views expressed are the author’s own and do not reflect in any way, the views of Emirates 24|7. Readers are advised to carry out their own due diligence before taking any decision.]