I would not be surprised if the majority of you facing a debt crisis today are asking yourselves this question, ‘why me?’
This is a question that inevitably justifies our wrong actions to ourselves because at the back of our minds we are blaming everything under the sun for our situation, except ourselves.
It is easy to do, right? We always find comfort in pacifying ourselves with the wrong justifications but it is ok because we feel good transposing the blame to others. It is easy to blame banks, our employers who don’t pay us enough salary, our family, people who asked us for money and to whom we gave it and many other fruitless reasons, except that we were spendthrifts, we did not watch our spending habits or even the fact that we realised that it would snowball into something uncontrollable and that it was just a matter of time.
But that time came before we expected it, or, when it was expected we pretended like it was a shock when actually we knew it would come when it did.
When I incurred huge losses, I also had the same tendencies to blame many parties and at the end I had to realise that I must take responsibility for my actions. Nobody can take a horse to the water and make it drink, so there is no justification for your situation. By continuing to ask this question, you are just increasing the fear that has already engulfed you and your life and it is stopping you from clear thoughts to prepare to take the much needed action.
We can and we do as humans have the ability to beat something until its dead and then when it is dead, we continue to beat it and repeat all the old stories and we don’t realise that people around us will listen initially but later they will get tired of the repetition, and slowly they will start retracting from your circle, won’t take your calls and suffice to say, you will start losing friends but never fret about this because the true friends are the ones who will remain and you only need them, you don’t need the spectators who add no value to your friendship.
Sometimes we are separated from people and friends for a reason, it has a lesson to teach us and during good times we simply do not have the ability to see who are real and who are fake and these difficult times, shows you the truth so don’t get emotional, just accept it as it is because the lesson will be seen later.
There is a very good practice that overrides all this situation and it is start making new stories, start talking about your dreams, how you will recover, what you will achieve, the life, family, home, money, love, happiness and all the good things that make you feel fuzzy inside and raises your vibration.
When you are in this state you can receive anything you want but if you continue entertaining bad feelings, blame, negativity and all the things that make you feel awful and that remind you of bad situations, then nothing can change for you, the only thing that will happen is you will get more of the same, more of the bad and so it is time to just change your story so you can stop the blame and change your life.
One good practice of comparison you can make is feeling the tone of both phrases:
Negative 1 - Why me? Why did I have to find myself in this debt situation? Why not someone else who used my money?
Positive 1 – I am so grateful and thankful for the lesson of debt today and the fact that I could learn how to change my life and not make the same mistakes in the future. I embrace the people who taught me a lesson and showed my weaknesses and I look forward to my very successful future and overcoming this lesson, thank you!
• Now if you review Negative 1 you can see it is full of blame, not taking responsibility and living in that negativity.
• If you review Positive 1 you can see that it is full of appreciation and gratitude and so the tone is very positive, has promising outcomes and where there is thankfulness and gratitude, there is abundance so automatically, you are changing the way you think and whatever it is you want, will come to you and you have learnt how to make new stories.
If anyone told you that you were born poor, or in an average family, who never really achieved, where money was scarce with no real legacy left behind by your previous generations then this is far from the truth because you can start setting that example, you can start creating a legacy for your upcoming generations, you can break the poverty line and you can be a mentor and example in any way you wish, you just need to know how to change your way of thinking.
The blaming game is over, it does and will never serve you, not now, not in the past and not tomorrow.
There are new rules in the world, there are new ways of doing things, of achieving, new concentrations on what is right and what is wrong, what feels bad and what feels good and you need to learn to set your own patterns that serve you, that puts you at peace and in a comfortable state of mind and that energizes you daily to be an inspiration to yourself first, then to others.
Leading by example in all spheres of our lives is what we should strive for because if you only take your immediate family unit, if you continue moaning and groaning about your situation, a lack of money, no good opportunities, etc., and your children use you as an example for their life, then you not only done an injustice to them, but also to your upcoming generations besides yourself.
So it is not only about us, but about everything that we come into contact with, especially those whom we love and who are precious to us and just having that awareness will create a ripple effect all around you and you will then start experiencing the sincere love of others and how important self-love is for your life.
[Note 1: Theda Muller is a UAE-based author of two books: ‘Embrace Financial Freedom Volume One: 10 Proven Ways To Release Debt And Emotional Fears In Today’s Economy’, and Volume Two: ‘Releasing Fear And Bouncing Back From A Debt Crisis’.
She also conducts webinars and workshops on debt recovery.]
[Note 2: The views expressed are the author’s own and do not reflect in any way, the views of Emirates 24|7. Readers are advised to carry out their own due diligence before taking any decision.]
[Image via Shutterstock]