Bollywood review: Akshay does not let 'Singh is Bling' shine

Goa’s found a great following in Bollywood, with its beaches pitched as the perfect spot to unite lovers, friends and anyone who wishes to party or parade their stunning beach bodies. But, for filmmaker Prabhu Deva, Goa turns into much more than just a party pad. It’s a place where his turbaned hero can seek employment, while his pretty but gutsy heroine hides from her psycho lover.
 
And while they go about life, cupid suddenly strikes.
 
Much of the screen time is then devoted to exploring their strange attraction, as each talks a different language and has nothing in common except martial arts. Oh, and an odd affinity towards songs with rhyming sounds.
 
Throw in a mad man, who wants to seek revenge by marrying his insulter, and the circus begins.
 
There’s a moment, when a bunch of turbaned gentlemen wait, rather patiently, for a dog, dressed in a strange wig, to let out a roar. It’s only when they hear barks, that they realise it’s not a lion!
 
These are but some of the gems that Prabhu Deva has strung together in the name of comedy. That’s not all, he even steps into the frame, for a ridiculously silly cameo, where he literally pisses off the hero and his pal. Prabhu might’ve conquered the dance floor, but donning the directorial hat requires talent of a different kind, one that he’s evidently lacking.
 
So, we watch with cynical detachment, as the man and woman, and the hoards of other characters thrown in, struggle to make this templated drama laughable and colourful.
 
‘Singh is Bling’ is a movie that tries too hard to impress, but never does.
 
It’s the kind of movie that gets sucked in its own idiosyncrasies but fails to involve, let alone tickle, its audience.
 
It’s the kind of movie where fat women are mocked at, while the thin girls are taught peculiar lessons on women’s empowerment.
 
It’s the kind of movie where song and dance are key, the jokes incidental, and the acting abysmal.
 
It’s the kind of movie where Sunny Leone does a cameo but you almost miss it because it’s tough to tell one international heroine apart from the other.
 
It’s the kind of movie where you watch Akshay Kumar have all the fun, but you are left bored.

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