What does one say about a film awards night or an industry that parades glittering accolades every few weeks, under the guise of Bollywood's best?
Credibility musings aside, some members of the audience can now perhaps claim sheer exhaustion from viewing the run-of-the-mill song and dance routine that emerges like clockwork on satellite channels to garner sponsor revenue and television ratings.
Dubai, which is no stranger to Bollywood glamour, hosted one such night in the form of the Times of India Film Awards or Toifa that was held on Friday at the Dubai International Cricket Stadium.
The celeb quotient was certainly in check, with superstars Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh and the likes walking the red carpet and shaking a leg or hip on stage with fervor.
While Ranveer injected his patented brand of enthusiasm into his Amitabh tribute act, it was perhaps the two Khans that had the crowds on their feet and dancing in the aisles with renewed energy after the show's two-hour delayed start and hosts Parineeti Chopra and Riteish Deshmukh not helping matters with some tired and tested humour.
The love for Dubai, though, was firmly in check, with Anil Kapoor to Varun Dhawan, calling the emirate their home and the investment arena for a second Bollywood film industry.
Here are the most memorable moments of the night:
'Deepika is my better half'
In an interesting turn of events, Ranveer Singh was all blushes and smiles when Kareena Kapoor Khan announced on stage that her Bollywood peer "already has a beautiful woman by his side", when posed a question by Parineeti Chopra.
But it was Ranveer's confession that brought the house down, when he went up on stage to receive the award for the Best Stylish Jodi (pair) of the Year, which he won with rumoured girlfriend Deepika Padukone.
The actor said: "Deepika really is my better half; I convey my love and warmth to her."
Amitabh tribute act
Ranveer Singh clearly owned the night, what with dropping the DP-bomb and bringing the stoic Amitabh Bachchan to his feet in a fitting tribute act to the living legend.
While one had dearly hoped Ranveer's entry could have been more dramatic, the quad bike played the perfect prop for the 'Muqaddar Ka Sikander' title track, as the younger actor burst on to stage to take us down memory lane of Amitabh's monster hits.
'My Name is Anthony Gonsalves', 'Pagh Ghungroo', an outrageous 'Govinda Govinda' from 'Sarkar' and 'Shehenshah', were all strutted out on stage with gusto.
But the stellar parts of the act was the 'Jhumma Chumma' podium dive, followed by the Bombay to Dubai bus for 'Dekha Na Hai Re', which saw audience members jumping barriers to catch a glimpse.
Ranveer's night was probably complete when Amitabh himself joined him on stage for 'Kajra Re'.
Salman Khan dances for SRK
Although the organisers had us believe that Bollywood’s infamous celeb best buds will do a jig together, what with the promos highlighting the big ‘Karan-Arjun’ reunion, there was none that unfolded on stage.
What we did witness, however, was Salman stepping into SRK’s dancing shoes for part of his performance. So, Salman went all ‘Chamak Chalo’ before breaking into his own track.
In fact, Salman’s performance had a strange tribute to some of his peers and seniors. He took on their iconic dance moves through Sanjay Dutt’s ‘Thama Thama Loge’, Sunny Deol’s ‘Yaara o Yaara’, Akshay and Saif’s fun ‘Main Khiladi Tu Anari’, and Hrithik Roshan’s ‘Kaho Na Pyaar Hai’. There was also Aamir thrown in for fun.
Kareena’s odd selfie moment
It was a night of tributes, with Kareena Kapoor Khan dancing to songs of heroines who, she claimed, were key to making her who she is. So, she picked Helen, Parveen Babi, Zeenat Aman, Sri Devi and her own big sister Karisma Kapoor and gleefully danced to their tracks, but not before, slipping into her own track, because she is her biggest fan!
But, the most awkward moment for the Kapoor girl was when hostess Parineeti Chopra dragged her on stage, soon after her performance, to teach three ladies (plucked from the audience) about “how to be Kareena Kapoor Khan”. A lesson that went wasted on the ladies, the audience and, most definitely, Kareena. She struggled to put it together, while Parineeti, quickly slipped in with an Ellen Oscar moment and ordered a selfie.
SRK’s 'Fan' moment
Award nights are pretty much song and dance, and about random jokes, which frankly were so lame that it was lost on the crowd. But, Toifa was just as much about their local sponsors, whose ads played out on the big screen between acts, almost giving us the feel that we were watching the show on the telly, and not a live show. And to make matters worse, there was a deep, gruff voice ordering us to “sit down and not block the camera or the teleprompter” because “this is a TV show”.
And, trust Shah Rukh to take it a step further and promote his new movie ‘Fan’. After dancing to his hit number ‘Jabra’, and introducing the UAE singer render the same track in Arabic, the big screens played out the trailer of ‘Fan’. So, what if he didn’t have an award to take home, he got some promotion work done.
There was a dance segment with King Khan and YoYo Honey Singh that was promptly plugged, but SRK didn’t make an appearance with YoYo, leaving young blood Parineeti, Ranveer and Varun to step in to fill the vacuum. And, when SRK decided to do the Lungi dance, much after YoYo’s act, he got Jacqueline and Parineeti to join him.