Personal Finance: Debtors start recovery and throw in towel

I’ve repeatedly said that you are delusional to assume that it would take you one week or one month to resolve the debt problems that you created over two-years plus. A key part of this recovery process is patience, endurance, humility, trusting the process with huge faith and knowing that it will all work out in your favour and then keeping your promise to yourself to becoming debt-free.

So many times I mentor debtors, present my strategy and framework to help them, they do it for one or two accounts and then I never hear from them and I can only conclude they threw in the towel. In some instances I have checked and reconfirmed my suspicions.

If you cannot commit yourself and convince yourself that this road is hard, then bear the consequences of the full wrath of not meeting your debt commitments and I am not being facetious. The truth is, it is your debt, not mine or anyone else’s. You enjoyed the money, you spent it however you wished, so it is not my job or anyone else’s to convince you to show your integrity and repay your debt, or to beg or plead with you to continue connecting with me or them, giving us status updates, etc . Realism is that if you can’t do this then it is a sign that you don’t deserve debt recovery.

There are people who are genuinely committed and deserving of the attention and mentorship. When you set your intentions to becoming financially free, it is your job to meet that commitment because one very potent factor is that if you can’t, then you cannot meet the committment you make to your creditor, which then raises a red flag. You must believe me that when I find you are not committed it is my duty to inform your creditor of your insincerity and I have little regard for the outcome at this time, as you showed no regard or respect for my reputation. I am here voluntarily to help you if you are willing to help yourself, without exception.

My mentorship is from my heart and experience with a willingness to help as many people as I can and I certainly don’t take kindly to this being abused. Just like you don’t take your creditors calls, you don’t take mine and so this very bad habit never goes away. One point I see debtors do quite often is once they know the strategy they assume they can follow the process themselves but if you have not shown the respect for the person that reached out to help you, then you are also showing no self-respect by continuing to commit to the plan as you did from inception.  So convincing any creditor of your sincerity and commitment is a hard job, something that you should not take for granted, because it is an extremely bad reflection on your character, which in turn is probably the reason you are in this debt-crisis situation currently.

Everything we do, our actions, going back on our commitment and word is key in this cycle of debt-recovery, because what you put out you get back more than you imagine – be it good or bad. This path is supposed to restore your commitment to yourself firstly, the people who help you and your creditors and if you cannot get the very fundamentals aligned to ensure your ‘flow of recovery’, then it won’t work and it’s very simple.

No matter how much you try to convince yourself that your way is correct and that it’s your way or the highway and you will do this yourself, once you commit to someone then it means you have an obligation, especially if they put their name and reputation on the line as it all works in a cycle. If you deviate from that cycle, the process is incomplete and you will come short somewhere along the line.

This is how life works, this is not me, or anyone else dictating policies because respect calls for respect, so does self-respect and it goes a very long way. When you are desperate because you have pending legal action and you are begging, pleading and crying and someone reaches out, pulls you out of the drowning water and once that is over you turn your back? Well, that right there dictates you pay your dues. When you take this debt-recovery path you need to ensure you do everything correctly, ethically, with self-respect and respect, integrity and principle else you break the cycle.

I have very little respect for people facing a debt-crisis who openly disrespect those who reach out to help them, because there is a very fine line which dictates your outcome. When you don’t know where the person comes from or what their story was to enable them to be in a position to help you, then you have no right to take their kindness, generosity and support for granted as you have no idea how much they invested in themselves to enable this help and establish huge trust within creditor circles, especially banks.

When you review your situation then know that it is your creation and so you cannot change your situation with the same mind-set or actions because only when you learn to change it, will everything change for you. If you have no intention of being sincere to get out of debt, just to kill interim fires so you can do a ‘runner’ then know right here that it will come back to you, not in your time, but its time. Dishonesty has never paid anyone and the record stands for decades where this is no different.

My advice to debtors who sincerely wish to embark on their debt road to recovery is...

1.       Do this with a sincere heart that will serve you.

2.       Never lose hope of full recovery at any stage of the process;

3.       Keep your word and commitment.

4.       Become a person of integrity and principle, not just by words.

5.       Show repect to everyone in this process.

6.       Follow instructions.

7.       Follow this process until the end.

8.       Act like you are grateful and thankful for the help and support.

9.       Don’t take the people who help you for granted.

10.   Embrace the change that you seek as it will serve you.

11.   Continue to hold your ‘big picture’ of recovery in your mind as your future achievement.

One final word of advice in all sphere’s of your life is never close the doors behind you because you never know when only that person or company would be the one who could be the key decision-maker in something you direly need one day, or it could be the thing that dictates the outcome of your life because you never know, we never do.

[Note 1:  Theda Muller is a UAE-based author of two books: Embrace Financial Freedom Volume One: 10 Proven Ways To Release Debt And Emotional Fears In Today’s Economy, and Volume Two: Releasing Fear And Bouncing Back From A Debt Crisis.She also conducts webinars and workshops on debt recovery.]

[Note 2: The views expressed are the author’s own and do not reflect in any way, the views of Emirates 24|7. Readers are advised to carry out their own due diligence before taking any decision.]
 

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