Google’s Talking Shoes: How do you say ‘shut up’ in geek?

Those are some ‘smart shoes’ you’re wearing.

The next time you hear this phrase, look closely. For, the comment, which hitherto is meant to suggest that the wearer’s shoes look cool, could really mean that the shoes are Internet-connected, can talk to you and your phone contacts, can track your every movement and even censure you for not exercising enough… And silly we thought only spouses could do all that!

Unveiled at the South by Southwest (SXSW) event last week, Google’s prototype of the ‘talking shoes’ are in effect motion-sensing smart shoes with embedded speakers (fittingly, on the tongue of the shoe). And if the prototype is anything to go by, the Google Talking Shoes are a bunch of sarcastic mothers-in-law.

How else do you explain why Google chose to add phrases such as: “Are you a statue? Let’s do this already!” says the shoe. That’s talking trash – only my wife is allowed to say things like that to me.

Cool concept nevertheless.  However, one that could go completely crazy if you think of where Google might take you with it. We all know about Google Ads, right…  yes, that’s where we’re going.

The trainers connect to the Internet via Bluetooth and an Android phone and work with Google’s mapping software to track and plot runs.

Imagine your Internet-enabled shoes sensing, through Google Maps, that you’re in the vicinity of an advertiser’s store, and start hard-selling the latest wireless wonder-undergarment or a pregnancy home test-kit or even an impotence pill, based on your most recent Google searches – now who wouldn’t appreciate that kind of privacy invasion in full decibel glory?

So yes, Google, the talking shoes are a good idea – scratch that… make it an acceptable idea – as long as you stick to the basic phrases that my three-year-old’s robotic doll utters. Anything more won’t be music to the wearer’s ears) although music-on-the-run won’t be bad either.

So while wearable computing definitely seems to be the next big rage (think iWatch), this wearable phone may be a step too far (pun intended) or, on the other hand, help Google jog all the way to the bank.

What do you think? Watch this video to make up your mind: 

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