Review: Yule love this takeaway turkey

Plump breasts, juicy thighs and golden tanned skin... for most, achieving all of those in one perfect package is a dream come true.

Especially when it’s a turkey you’re talking about. At Christmas.

Because nothing quite ruins the holiday spirit and silences all conversation around the Yuletide table quite like a dry, powdery bird or one that's tough as old leather. 

But getting the bird right is another aneurysm in itself, so being being the sneaky home chef hoping not to be elbow deep up a dead bird's backside on Christmas morning that I am, then, I simply say stuff the whole shebang and order in.

I never was one for a challenge -- especially not on the domestic front.

For your benefit and mine, then, Emirates247.com rang up a few friends to help road test a takeaway turkey well before Cousin Polly and her snotty brats descend on Dubai for their annual harvest.

In these recession-weary times (all I want for Christmas is a fatter paycheque), I let price be my guide and go with what seems like a startlingly good deal: Dh395 for a six-kilo bird that, I was told, feeds eight.

The bird's ready promptly at 5pm the next day, when we roll up to collect it, and thankfully, we get it home without incident. So far, so merry.

Visitors greeted and seated on the terrace, carving kit polished, and bird unwrapped and laid out in suitably festive chinaware (why own up when you can claim all the credit?), I step up to the table -- and adroitly hand the knife to my friend. Let someone else do the work, I always say.

When I'm finally handed a plate piled with high with chunky roast potatoes, sliced carrots and the traditional Brussels sprouts nicely complementing the white meat, I dig in rather apprehensively. Turkey, when it's done well, can be a veritable delight; done badly and... well, let's not go there.

Thankfully, this little early bird really does do what it says on the tin. It's moist and juicy but not so bad that it's a watery mess. I'm really rather enjoying eating it -- although I'd be happier if it packed more of a punch, flavourwise. The gravy doesn't do very much for me, but the cranberry sauce more than makes up for its failings.

I'm disappointed by the Brussels sprouts, which are large and slightly too bitter (although this could be because I popped the lot in the oven for a while to keep it warm before serving -- and promptly forgot about it while getting stuck into the mulled grape).

The roast potatoes fare much better, thankfully, and the carrots are beautiful, soft and gently rounded out by a liberal dose of thyme and the chestnuts are exactly what you want: sweet and mealy and slightly crunchy.

Like several of my friends, I step up for seconds and even after nine people have eaten their fill, there's enough left over for at least another two -- or a few days' worth of sandwiches.

By the end of it, then, I'm sitting back, stuffed and sated, preening as the compliments flow my way (when I'm asked what my secret is, I repeat the line I've memorised from the hotel brochure: how it all comes down to four types of peppercorns and juniper berries), and thinking up exotic cheesy tarts for the leftovers and musing on how the perfect takeaway bird really must feature a nearly-there side or two, with the main event performing admirably, so nobody quite suspects you've bought it in.

Takeaway Turkey costs Dh395 for eight people, inclusive of trimmings, at City Centre Hotel and Residence. Orders must be placed 24 hours in advance at 04 603 8600 or 603 8080.

 

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