Personal Finance: Debtors reluctant to ask for help

This is an issue I have been battling with for years with debtors in my attempt to convene debt workshops and informed sessions to reach out, tender my advice and plans for their situation and convince them to take ownership and responsibility to get onto their road to financial freedom.

However, it seems I am losing the battle because even presenting a workshop within a room emotionally heavily laden with debt because trust me I can feel it, I am lucky of 1 or 2 step forward to ask a question or even consult with me privately and the repeated questions are:

Why is that?
Why won’t you come out of your closet and set yourself free?
Why do you assume remaining faceless is going to be beneficial to you and your future?
Why don’t you understand that your situation is just snowballing and will soon be out of your control?
Why don’t you understand that you can get your free life back?
Why don’t you understand that this is only a temporary setback, that there is a way out and that you can overcome this problem?
Why don’t you understand that when you start acting differently, you start handling things differently and so the things you eventually start looking at will change?
Why don’t you understand that resolving your problem will be a one to one human interaction, with amicable respect, understanding, reassurance of your commitment and reorganizing your situation to start improving your day to day existence?

What will it take for you to take the necessary action?

People, there are so many ways out of this and if anyone tells you there isn’t then they are ill-informed and in fact, they probably are negative type who have had a bad experience for the same reasons above, but that does not mean that it must be your experience.

Times have changed, the world has shifted its paradigm, people are more empathetic in the face of what anyone has to say and situations are unique to each individual. So comparing yourself and your situation to anyone else, is not going to serve you at all.

This could be your time, but it will pass you by if you are sitting in your dark closet hoping the world will pass you by and once that happens, you will have no more problems – WRONG!

You don’t know what is awaiting you outside there and if you take the challenge and step out, miracles could happen for you, creditors could feel your emotional sincerity and commitment to repay your debts and right now you are not in a position to know this because you are way too engulfed with fear and all forms of negative emotions that continue to weigh you down.

Let me share with you that the top secret to breaking the chains of debt and struggle is to release your emotions freely and go with the flow.

Lean the tools and techniques to emotionally release resistance from your being so you can gain strength to face these challenges.

Many people locally and in the world have applied a variation of tools and techniques and won their battles, first with their inner selves then the outer and it’s not rocket science but you need to be willing to participate with like-minds that will also be around to support you.

Fear has engulfed so many people facing a debt-crisis that they are even unwilling to register for one of my debt webinars, where you remain faceless and nobody will know who you are but I fully understand just how far fear can absorb lives because it makes you steer clear of any real interaction that will even touch the subject of debt.

It will not serve you to continually live in a fallacy world, pretending to family, colleagues and friends that all is well and there is nothing wrong, because that is your first huge mistake.

Nothing will change if you don’t and you cannot continue living this life, suppressing your emotions, feeling helpless and hopeless without it affecting your health and well-being in the long run because something has to give at some stage and it will be your health as you have no release valve to rid your body of all these bad emotions that can make you ill.

If I am speaking to one of many of you and this is resonating with you, then let me ask you to step out, even if you contact me and start speaking about it and we will take it one step at a time.

I am well aware that this situation brings shame upon us and that is true because that is how the next person will perceive your situation.

However, bear in mind they might be facing the same situation but will not confide in you and so forget about anyone else, you are the most important person to you right now so you must do what is right for you.

One important factor is that when you face this kind of situation, generally there is nobody around to help or support you, there may be that one special genuine friend who really sees you for what you are worth and will reach out to help and I have a few of those very good friends whom I will always treasure.

So this is about you taking the initiative to change your situation and once creditors see you are making a genuine effort, you will start gaining their respect and the moment that happens, you will start feeling better about yourself and that is the cycle of interaction between humans, you just need to understand this and know that the entire process will be the recovery of your situation and your personal recovery, including recouping relationships that were harmed in this process.

Money can turn good relationships into the worst relationships and with that goes our personal shock to find out that a friend we assumed was a friend, is actually not a true friend so there are many surprises along this path but the key is for you to maintain your strength, just keeping pushing on until you get to the end of the line and your job is then done.

[Note 1:  Theda Muller is a UAE-based author of two books: Embrace Financial Freedom Volume One: 10 Proven Ways To Release Debt And Emotional Fears In Today’s Economy, and Volume Two: Releasing Fear And Bouncing Back From A Debt Crisis.She also conducts webinars and workshops on debt recovery.]

[Note 2: The views expressed are the author’s own and do not reflect in any way, the views of Emirates 24|7. Readers are advised to carry out their own due diligence before taking any decision.]

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