She Dubai-it by letting go: How a British expat stopped forcing her path – and found everything

Dubai: In the middle of chaos, when the world feels like it’s falling apart, would you just let go of control and see where life takes you? It may seem counter-intuitive, but for British expat Carina Harvey, it’s the decision she needed to make to change her life. Harvey arrived in Dubai in 2015, after a difficult period in the UK. She said: “I [separated] from my partner and was made redundant from my big corporate company job, which had felt pretty safe at the time – all in the space of about six months.” She needed a change, and the first place that came to mind? Dubai. She had visited the city before, and it seemed like a good place for a fresh start. Harvey said: “I arrived without a job, and after a couple of trips to Dubai, I realised I needed to be on the ground to secure a role, so I took the plunge and moved here to find work.” But her first year in the city gave her a different kind of reality check. Although she landed a job fairly quickly, in human resources for an international company, she found herself with no friend circle, no idea where to go to network with people, and no proper understanding of the city’s systems and nuances. She felt alone. Harvey said: “I was starting off from scratch in a country that on many levels, I didn't even understand. But rather than throwing myself into it, I held myself back.” She admitted that although she tried hard in her first year in Dubai, she was also exceptionally hard on herself and even felt spent too much time “playing the victim” about her situation, “...in some ways, making it more challenging than it needed to be. Eventually, I decided I was moving back to the UK. I handed in my notice, and fully planned to leave.” When she returned to the UK for Christmas, in 2016, she informed family and friends about her decision – she was done. She would work through her notice period in Dubai, and then return to the UK. That was the plan. A switch turning on When she returned to Dubai for her handover, however, everything felt different. Harvey said: “And that's the strange part: during that time, because I thought Dubai was no longer going to be where I lived, I stopped trying so hard. I stopped forcing it. And that's exactly when things started to click. I met people naturally, started building networks, both personally and professionally, without pushing for any of it.” She added: “That was my first real spiritual lesson here. You can go all guns blazing after the thing you think should be yours, but the real question is whether it's actually meant to be yours. Allowing things to flow, rather than controlling them, is often what lets them land.” The lesson kept showing up in her life in different ways. It’s how she met her husband. She said: “We had actually worked for the same business I was made redundant from, for years, but due to its scale and size, we had ever met. He relocated to Dubai with the company, and we were introduced by a mutual friend.” Although Harvey met him in her first year in Dubai, they initially “friend-zoned” each other. She said: “It wasn’t an instant romance. But it was during the period when I’d decided to move to the UK, and things became less challenging, that things between us developed. The relationship I built with him happened almost by accident.” The same lesson – of letting go of control – showed up again in Harvey’s career. She said: “I spent a while trying to force the same corporate career girl I'd always been in London, here in Dubai. After a few different jobs, I finally realised that wasn't actually my path here. I was meant to be an entrepreneur.” She built a coaching business in 2023. But this journey, too, wasn’t linear: “I quickly realised it wasn't actually the business my heart, or my original intention, had set out to build. So, I took a step back from it. When you realise something isn't right, you have to actually stop and understand why, before you pick it back up again. That's exactly what I did.” A journey to identity Harvey began learning about human behaviour and coaching modalities, like neurolinguistic programming (NLP), which led to her starting her own business. Picture credit: Supplied Harvey had been coaching through her corporate career, and began learning about human behaviour and coaching modalities, like neurolinguistic programming (NLP) – a set of techniques and principles that connect neurological processes, language, and behavioural patterns to help people change how they think and act - which led to her starting her own business. Harvey continued to explore her interests, taking a sabbatical, working as a stylist part time, travelling, and going on what she calls her “self-discovery journey”, where she delved into past challenges and traumas, went through life coaching and therapy, and worked on her mental health. She said: “I'm a fairly complex human being, so that took real time.” But what started as personal coaching for herself turned into serious study, spanning 15 years. Fina